Episode 970: Funny You Should Say That — Or Is It
Air Date: June 24, 2026 | Host: Bob Metz
Just Right — broadcasting on WBCQ and Channel 292 shortwave
Disclaimer: The views expressed in this program are those of the participants.
Clip (Monty Python, And Now For Something Completely Different)
Narrator / Sketch: This man is Ernest Scribler, manufacturer of jokes. In a few moments, he will think of the funniest joke in the world. And as a result, he will die laughing. It was obvious the joke was lethal. No one could read it and live. Scribbler’s mother, alarmed by the unusual sounds of merriment, entered the room and found what was apparently a suicide note.
Bob Metz:
Welcome everyone. It is Wednesday, June 24th, 2026. I’m Bob Metz, and this is Just Right, broadcasting around the world and online. Join us for an hour of discussion that’s not right wing. It’s Just Right.
It is now officially summer 2026 in the Northern Hemisphere, and we thought this might be a good time to take a break for a smile. Just a temporary break from all of the doom and gloom news and forecasts that we are constantly fed. But never a break from contrasting left and right, which we shall do today, but in a lighthearted manner by applying a good dose of humor and talk about humor so that we can really laugh out loud at the left, but be careful not to die laughing, because you know that negatively affects our listener base. But it’s not all about politics. We’ve got samples of great stand-up comics, numerous jokes and jokesters, riddles, one-liners, and of course, the ever popular groaners, a theme we featured the last time we took a break for a smile.
And you know what got me to thinking. Exactly how does one measure or define humor? Why is it such a powerful weapon against those it may be directed? Why do politicians so fear the comedy class?
These are just a few of the other questions we’ll be trying to address during the course of today’s show. And of course, there is that greatest of fear faced by all comedians or anyone telling a joke in public or in front of a crowd. What do you do or say if nobody finds your joke or your sense of humor funny?
Apparently, astronaut Neil Armstrong found himself in exactly such a situation. So what did he say when nobody laughed at his moon jokes? Well, I guess you had to be there.
So if you’re in the mood for more silliness and out of this world humor, I guess you’ll just have to be here right after our reminder that you can write us at feedback@justrightmedia.org. Hear us on WBCQ and on Channel 292 Shortwave, follow and like us on your favorite podcast platform, and visit us at justrightmedia.org where you can access all of our social media links, archive broadcasts, and the support button that makes it easy for you to support the show. Because as always, your financial support is appreciated and is what makes this show possible.
Well, you know, if Neil Armstrong’s jokes weren’t going over too well, I wonder if it was because he told the one about the female astronaut who broke up with her boyfriend. Or as Armstrong explained it, apparently she needed more space. Yeah, well, maybe you did have to be there, okay.
Well, whether you find that funny or not funny, or even offensive, depends on your existing perspective about life in general as applied to the narrative of the humor presented. So was that an astronomical joke or a misogynist one? And of course, you’d probably have to be old enough to appreciate why a woman saying she needed more space within a relationship relates to the same statement in outer space. Not sure if a four-year-old would really get a joke like that, or an adult with a four-year-old mind. You know, somebody on the left.
Clip (Alex Assoune Collection, May 22, 2025)
Comedian: Did you know shoplifting is basically legal in San Francisco? Yes. If you steal less than $1,000, police do nothing. It’s a 100% discount coupon. But if I forget to turn on my blinker, boom, massive ticket. Apparently, a blinker is more dangerous than robbery. And have you noticed? If someone has a giant nose ring, we don’t need to ask. We all know who they voted for. It’s not me. Studies show 25% of liberals are on medication for mental illness. That is very scary. Because it means the other 75% are running around totally untreated.
Bob Metz:
One of the reasons the left can’t tell funny jokes is because it is so disconnected from reality. Without that connection, there is nothing against which a particular humorous statement can be compared and contrasted.
We’ll be getting into this a bit more a little later in the show. But first, if you stop to think about it, it is surprising how many of the government and the left’s harshest and most feared critics are comedians. Take for example, Steven Crowder, half of whose average podcast consists of him and his fellow panelists just laughing at and ridiculing so many lefties, which is not an easy task since everything the left does is kind of funny in and of itself. I mean, trying to make a joke about someone on the left is hard to do, given how the left is its own walking joke. I mean, how can you make a person who thinks men can have babies any funnier than that person already is? There’s only one way. You have to reconnect the dots between reality and the silly assertion.
But doing that in public can get you into trouble, as many a comedian has often learned the hard way. One comic who shared his experience in this regard was Tyler Fischer, when he appeared on the October 29, 2024 edition of Viva Frei. Apparently, comedy is about a lot more than just being funny. It’s hard work and perseverance against, in Fischer’s case, what he calls the woke left.
Clip (Viva Frei, October 29, 2024 – Tyler Fischer on comedy, COVID, and cancel culture)
Viva Frei (David Freiheit): This is Tyler. Get ready to rumble. Kill Tony’s at the mothership at Rogan’s place. Tell us the format.
Tyler Fischer: It’s 60 seconds, and all these new comedians, some of them did really well. They’d bring them back on. Those people are now famous overnight. So you have these new comics come on, they do one minute, and if they do well, you praise them. If they don’t, you roast the hell out of them. It’s pretty brutal.
Viva Frei: That I would be inclined to do if I think I could deal with the humiliation, but I think I’ve got a sufficiently well-rehearsed one-minute joke.
Tyler Fischer: Well, what’s interesting now is it’s not just the people in the room. Now it’s millions and millions watching on YouTube, or you’re doing it in a stadium. So your first time doing comedy is in a stadium. It’s amazing. It’s wild.
Some jokes are not funny when you don’t understand, when you don’t have the factual knowledge that underpins the joke. On Twitter, I say to a professor, it was about E. Jean Carroll and a cat named Vagina T. Fireball, and this guy then doesn’t know that her cat’s name is Vagina T. Fireball and thinks I’m the pervert.
I’m like, dude, if you don’t get the facts, if you’re dumb or ignorant or naive, and the joke goes over your head, that’s one thing. So for those who don’t know, you went through some shit for not getting poked.
Viva Frei: Oh yeah, my whole life changed, absolutely. Yeah, that yeah, my whole my whole life changed, right?
With this country’s been more divided from that segregation and anything since racial segregation. Something I don’t hear people talk about a lot. It’s like no, they we went through segregation, medical segregation, and they were so happy when they did it. And well, they say, like, it wasn’t a racial thing, it wasn’t a religious thing, you had a choice. And to them I said, well, first of all, religion, you have a choice. Yeah, but it was they were so happy to do it, and like they did it with the full blessing of their own soul, which is a good C.S. Lewis quote.
I think a lot of us are lucky if you were not, you know, if able to speak up about your beliefs, or you know, perhaps you didn’t even know this was a belief. I didn’t know this was a belief of mine, which is I don’t want to share my medical records. So yeah, I had just gotten I’ve been doing stand-up for 10, 12 years straight. You know, I was running an Airbnb in my house. I was babysitting. It was like, yeah, life was pretty rough. And then I’d go do stand up at night for five minutes for for no money, or I would be oftentimes have to pay to perform. And then I just got into the comedy clubs, one of the best one, and they emailed, they said, just put oh, you know, when you you know when you have a second, please submit your medical papers that you got the COVID vaccine. I’m reading, I’m going, you gotta be kidding me. And so I said, I can’t do that. Can’t do that.
I didn’t even tell him I wasn’t vaccinated because I’m like, I was trying to tell people, don’t tell, just say you can’t, you’re not gonna discuss it. I was also an actor at the time, and I think we talked about this last time, obviously. But then I had an agent who fired me for being white, but I still didn’t have that fight that I have in me now.
Viva Frei: What happened with that? That went to a lawsuit.
Tyler Fischer: No, that no, it this happened so many times. Where I just didn’t speak up about it because I was told just shut up. Shut up and sit down. Shut up, white guy, just sacrifice everything you’ve worked for. Okay, and then it happened again and again, and then yeah, the one where I’m in the lawsuit now, still three years. That was a manager who scouted me. That’s the thing. All of these people that I mentioned, people are like, Oh, you’re just a victim, you know, one person turned you down. It’s like, no, they all came to me and were like, Why aren’t you on SNL? Why aren’t you on TV? What the hell is going on? We’re gonna, you know, let’s go.
Because they saw me kill on stage and do 10 impressions and characters, and you know, these are rough rooms. These are like bars in New York City where you you gotta get on stage and get 20 people to laugh who were you know, half in the can watching a football game. You really gotta be good to do well in New York.
That is the company that said, they then called me back and said, we just got word, our new company policy is we’re not gonna represent any more straight white guys.
Viva Frei: Wow.
Tyler Fischer: And I recorded that. So I hit record, I go, break it up a little. Can you repeat that? Sorry. I think my ears are broken. What did you just say?
I got my I got my third mask on, I can’t hear you. And so yeah, plain English, it’s recorded, it’s transcribed, and here we are three years later, and it’s like we’re still not as you know, these things take a while.
As much as I make jokes about it, it really killed my spirit in so many ways. And it’s important. I think I have a duty now to almost sort of not I don’t know what the word is, but just share my my story and also because people need to know how to do this. It’s really hard to with the woke left who does when they decide you’re on the hierarchy, you know, distribution plank, and if you’re not at the top, you’re not allowed to get justice or speak up or whatever. So it’s it’s you know, it’s taking me four or four years to learn how to do it.
But what I’ll say is telling your story doesn’t mean you’re a victim, you know. So that’s the big distinction. But like the amount of people, like even that were in my life that were close to me or whatever, they’re just like, shut up, you’re playing a victim. It’s like, no, I’m not. I I went and built this whole new stand-up career out of thin air that I wasn’t really planning on doing from for my life.
I’m on tour pretty much nonstop. So that’s the other thing. I was…
Viva Frei: That that’s something that can just I mean that can destroy anybody. Traveling…
Tyler Fischer: Oh, yeah. you you go with your dog, obviously. I mean, it’s yeah, he’s a trained service dog. I travel with him. But no, I mean, I’m I’m sick like all the time, and I’m I’m not I’m not complaining because my fans and supporters are allowing me to have a career now, but yeah, no, I’ll I’ll fly somewhere, do five shows in a row, I’ll come back and I’ll and I’m just like usually on the couch for a week until I do it again.
So you you get a 21-minute video that has nearly a million views that draws people to comedy tube, and then they demonetize it, take all of the goodwill that you brought to the platform and give you the big middle finger. Well, what was the discussion in it? I presume it’s trans jokes that are the ones that not that you even know.
They don’t have to say, you know, it could it at this point they can say hurtful, harmful offense. I mean, it’s like again…
Viva Frei: Did you know I got a video? I got a video removed. They since reinstated it because they called it bullying and harassment of Kamala Harris. You’re not laughing yet.
You you do her good laugh, you do a good laugh impression.
Tyler Fischer: I I I put out a it was the one where I was calling her a confirmed plagiarist, and they removed I get like that. That that dreadful you violated the terms of service. I’m like, okay, I swear every now and again, maybe but no bullying and harassment of a presidential candidate. They restored it and they removed the the warning. But yeah, yeah, you can’t get away with it.
You can’t search Joe Rogan on uh sorry, Trump on Joe Rogan on YouTube, which is like destroyed the internet, and you can’t even it doesn’t even pop up. It’s like you know, So, anyways, I put it on Twitter and it got three and a half million views, which is wild.
But I thought, let’s just take all the political stuff, the election’s coming up, so it’s just like a 20 minute all of my political stuff, and then I’ll put out another special that is not gonna have much political stuff in it. I go on Gutfeld a lot on Fox News, which turned out to be the number one comedy show on TV now, which which is unbelievable and a testament to the fact that the people that have gone full left, Jimmy Kimmel and Colbert are destroying themselves.
When Fox News has the biggest comedy show on TV, they should probably pay attention, but they’re not.
Viva Frei: It’s the children that are out of touch, Tyler. It’s not them.
Bob Metz:
I think that both David Frei and Tyler Fischer are somewhat misreading the motivations of comedians like Kimmel and Colbert who don’t see what they’re doing as being self-destructive. They see themselves as warriors on the left. I’ve heard them speak to this in other forums.
But if Frei and Fischer are suggesting that Kimmel and Colbert had switched to the right political polarity, then their implication is that Kimmel and Colbert only do what they do strictly for clicks and views, and that ideology is a non-factor in this situation. And I find that a bit hard to believe.
But you’ve got to admit that when Fischer not only got fired for being white, but also managed to record and document it. His story and so many others like it are fueling racial awareness and divisions that while desired by the left may soon become a stronger political tool for the right than the left would like to admit.
Clip (Colin Jost)
Colin Jost: Warner Brothers is producing a new movie in which Superman is black, and a black Superman actually makes a lot of sense when you remember that Superman was abandoned by his parents as a baby. Well, I knew you’d like that one, so here’s another one.
Warner Brothers is producing a new movie in which Superman is black. In this version, black Superman’s script tonight is an honest day’s work. Whoa! Whoa!
And before I go, I just thought of another punchline for that black Superman story. Black Superman will be referred to as the man of steel spelled STEAL.
Bob Metz:
Now, some might call that dark humor. Others might just consider it light humor, and still others might consider it white humor, and of course, the woke left would call it racist.
When the woke left hate you no justice for you, warned Tyler Fischer, they’ll just cut you off of YouTube for things like hurtful, harmful, offensive, anything, bullying, harassment, violating terms of service, yeah, all those things they make up. They never tell you exactly what you said, right?
But we must never allow ourselves to forget those doing the censoring control, shadow banning or whatever, are not concerned about the humor per se, but about what truth that humor might reveal. Truth is always the singular target of censors, whether it’s expressed seriously or in the form of humor.
And you want to know something else that’s kind of funny? Trying to find a non-circular definition of funny or humor. I checked in my Funk and Wagnalls, and they define funny as causing one to laugh or be amused, comical, peculiar, strange, odd, and humor was defined as the quality of anything that is funny or appeals to the comic sense. The ability to appreciate or express what is amusing, comic, etc. Speech, writing or actions that are amusing or comic, a temporary mood, to be in good humor, temperament, disposition, a sudden liking, whim, caprice. And on it goes. Well, if tickling someone made them laugh, does that mean that tickling is funny? Just ask someone who doesn’t like to be tickled.
But certainly, laughter is a broad starting point in identifying something that is funny or humorous. And you might be surprised by how many studies and commentaries and other disciplined looks at comedy that you can find out there on the internet. From sites like the Mayo Clinic that takes a look at comedy from a medical perspective, such as this September 2023 headline that read: Stress relief from laughter, it’s no joke. When it comes to relieving stress, more giggles and guffaws are just what the doctor ordered. And the whole article gets into various details of how and why this works.
Or you’ll find commentaries that look at comedy from a historical perspective, such as the one item I saw under the heading The Dark History of the court jester, and what life was really like for this medieval joker. Summarized by writer Liana Tedesco in October 23, she writes that, quote, court jesters were entertainers who served and entertained royalty, but they were also at the mercy of their masters and subject to danger. Being a court jester often involved being a messenger and delivering messages that could anger enemies, putting the jester’s life at risk, end quote.
And of course, many are familiar with the phrase, fools who speak truth to power, and about the serious consequences that often befell them.
And not to suggest that the science is settled on this, but there are also scientific perspectives being published on humor, such as this May 23, ZME Science headline that reads, “What makes things funny? The science of humor explained.” And I quote:
Despite best efforts, deconstructing humor is not as easy as it may seem. The underlying mechanics of humor remain somewhat elusive. Humor is too broad to be distilled easily in, say this, and you’ll likely make X% of people laugh.
As anyone who has tried to explain a bad joke to a bewildered friend, such attempts are anything but funny. Humor is always involuntary. You can’t force yourself to laugh genuinely, which makes humor even more elusive. Crude jokes and dark humor also work because of psychological distance. People laugh at gags where violence is present, such as when the three stooges get in the fight or get hurt. But the violation of the social norms is negated by the fact that we know it isn’t real. Psychological and social distance may also explain why we find certain moral and norm violations funny, such as outrageous funny videos on YouTube, like the Indonesian chain smoking toddler, end quote.
And you know, that caught me to thinking. If humor is always involuntary, does that mean that libertarians are opposed to humor? Think about it.
Now one person who didn’t think that it was funny to be considered a libertarian was someone who constantly found herself being plagiarized by libertarians, philosopher novelist Ayn Rand. But fortunately, libertarians had dozens of other free thinkers to plagiarize, from Murray Rothbard himself to folks like Henry Hazlitt or Friedrich Bastiat.
And as one of the jokes I ran into this week put it, to steal ideas from one person is plagiarism, to steal from many is research. You know, the creepy thing about that is that it’s kind of true. In fact, I myself am engaging in such research when I cite the Ayn Rand lexicon to compare her definition of humor to others.
And unlike the circular definitions found in most dictionaries, Rand’s definition is as linear as it gets when she writes, quote, humor is the denial of metaphysical importance to that which you laugh at, end quote. Huh. Of course, I should have realized that all along.
Clearly, this is Rand’s way of saying that humor is dependent upon its relationship to reality, which is why the left is so inept at humor, as they don’t have any relationship to reality. But as an example of her definition, Rand offered this, and I quote,
The classic example, you see a very snooty, very well-dressed dowager walking down the street, and then she slips on a banana peel. What’s funny about it? It’s the contrast between the woman’s pretensions to reality. She acted very grand, but reality undercut it with a plain banana peel. That’s the denial of the metaphysical validity or importance of the pretensions of that woman. Therefore, humor is a destructive element, which is quite alright, but its value and its morality depend on what it is that you are laughing at. If what you’re laughing at is the evil in the world, provided you take it seriously, but occasionally permit yourself to laugh at it, that’s fine. But to laugh at that which is good, at heroes, at values, and above all, at yourself is monstrous. The worst evil that you can do psychologically is to laugh at yourself. That means spitting in your own face. Humor is not an unconditional virtue. Its moral character depends on its object. To laugh at the contemptible is a virtue. To laugh at the good is a hideous vice. And too often, humor is used as camouflage for moral cowardice.
End quote.
Well, that certainly draws a straight line from humor to reality. Translated in the politics, if humor is a potentially destructive element, then it naturally follows that humor can also be applied to becoming a destructive political weapon used in a propaganda war. And with that thought in mind, on this side of our upcoming bumper, a final round of the discussion between Viva Frei and comic Tyler Fischer, who highlights some of the petty tactics pursued by the woke left that are just a testament to how the left fears criticism in any form.
And on the return side of the bumper, well, we’ll try to squeeze in as many jokes and one-liners and groaners as we can fit into our next quarter. And most of them are not political at all.
Clip (Viva Frei, October 29, 2024 – Tyler Fischer continued)
Viva Frei: Who radicalized you, Tyler? It’s me.
Tyler Fischer: I have no, I guess it’s like I used to be really careful and sensitive about what I said and what I did. And then not being able to work because of the COVID thing, and then fired for my skin color and then banned from an airline for free speech. It’s like I have they’ve created a bit of a monster, is my point. Like it’s they’re not making it any better.
No, it’s like with the jet with with politics, when they criminalize you for not even doing what they accused you of, they disincentivize you to not do what you might have otherwise wanted to do. The only problem is from a political violence perspective, that’s kind of exactly what they want. They want you to snap, they want you to punch someone in the face so they can say, look at what a monster he always was. And now we’ve got the now. We we turned him into it, and we get to claim victory. So you gotta restrain yourself.
Exactly. And I was there supporting all of it and diversity. I did the black square. I think I’m I I was like the perfect woke liberal. That that was a turning point for sure. When I started getting hate, you then you go, you go, wait a minute. I I I can’t do anything right now as a straight white guy. Everything every little thing I do is incorrect.
You you get you’re you’re lucky as a comedian where you get to like use at least use this as content as opposed to being in a corporate world where you you literally have to sit down and shut up. And if you if you do anything bad, you’re gonna get fired.
Viva Frei: How um how has the last time we talked? I was like, how what is it like trying to be a comedian these days?
Tyler Fischer: Well, there’s yeah, there’s different arenas. I mean, for instance, mostly I I’ll either do 15 minute short sets at the comedy cellar in New York City, and that you’re on a lineup of five, six, seven comedians, all with different views, points of views, more similar points of views in New York than in Texas. And then when I’m at Joe Rogan’s club, it it feels like the 90s. It it revived me a little bit.
Now when I’m touring, it’s just me, it’s just my fans, the door’s locked. Anything goes. And I mean anything. I have no rules. If you don’t like it, you get up, you leave, I go, bye, you’re ready paid. I do once in a while have somebody stand up and yell at me and walk out, and then I get to make fun of them for an hour and a half. That is like pure freedom for me.
I I have had some wait staff, you know, sort of protest, and you’re gonna get some woke waiters. I’ve had the air conditioner turned off, you know, which apparently is a tactic. If they don’t like you, they’ll cut the AC. So three shows in a row, I had air conditioners conveniently not work during you know 100 degree weather. And so I I I just I work around it however I can.
Now in New York, I was running into some trouble, more so with comedians. Who would I say you can’t say that? I don’t like that joke about Kamala Harris. You can’t say that. And and I’d go, go f’ yourself. We’re first of all, we’re at the comedy cellar, one of the most iconic comedy clubs in the world.
But there was a point where I go, do I want to show up to work and have people just pecking at me for you didn’t get the vaccine? Are you concerned? You know, and so I went to Joe Rogan’s club and I go, Oh my god, everyone just leaves you alone.
When was the last time you were in New York?
When I’m in New York and I do Gutfeld, I love the comedy cell. I I love the com there’s nothing like it. There’s um…
Viva Frei: But when you go to New York, do you feel it politically speaking? Do you feel a shift in the zeitgeist, or is it just um uh everybody digging in their heels more politically?
Tyler Fischer: Yeah, it’s a different vibe uh in uh in the comedy scene for sure. I I do have a lot of people coming up to me going, I like what you’re saying. I just I’m afraid I don’t want to say it, I’m afraid. So, you know, there’s that in Texas, there’s none of that. I’ll I’ll do both just because it is more challenging in New York.
Clip (Don’t Tell Comedy, May 16, 2025, Andy Huggins)
Andy Huggins: The last woman I had a relationship with didn’t last that long, I don’t guess. Her name was Laura. We didn’t have enough in common. Laura likes to go dancing. I like to stop my foot till I get some feeling back.
I would use the phrase ahead of schedule. Laura preferred the word premature.
Of course. We had to go to Facebook, change our relationship status. I have it’s complicated. Laura has no it ain’t.
We met in a grocery store. My mind was wandering. Accidentally bumped into Laura. Laura got annoyed. She said, WTF. Said no, AARP.
For our first date. We went out to dinner. Or as Laura called it, lunch.
Our first night together was a disaster. Laura believes in the zombie apocalypse, and I forgot to tell her I sleepwalk.
I uh I wanted to be fair with Laura. So I told her I was older than I looked. She said that’s not possible.
I tell you what, ladies and gentlemen, the sex was great. The bedroom could get noisy. I’d be yelling, sweet Jesus. Laura would yell, God, why has thou forsaken me? The nurse would yell clear.
Bob Metz:
You’re listening to Just Right, broadcasting around the world and online. And talk about old jokes. Or are they just old jokes, the kind that never age? That was comedian Andy Huggins, the artful dodger, apparently doing something Ayn Rand might not have approved of, making fun of himself. Unlike, for example, this one.
Andy Huggins: The airport here in San Diego has a lactation room. And I didn’t know what lactation meant when I went in. The first time.
Bob Metz:
And you know it’s not true that you need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice. And should that parachute fail, let me assure you that where there a will, I want to be in it. And here’s a question on everybody’s mind.
Why were the Star Wars movies released in the order of episodes four, five, six, and then one, two, three? Well, in charge of scheduling, Yoda was.
Comedian: My son loves that we named our children after Star Wars characters. My daughter Chewbacca, not so much.
Bob Metz:
I know, for some reason, a couple of these following one-liners sounded like something Donald Trump might have been saying to Iran’s theocratic regime. Like, war does not determine who is right, only who’s left. And the last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on my list. I didn’t say it was your fault. I said I was blaming you. And if I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
Comedian: Let me get this straight. Prison is the perfect place for liberals. Everyone is equal. There is free food and housing, universal health care, no guns, and there’s same-sex relationships.
Bob Metz:
And here’s a groaner for you. Why didn’t the sun go to college? Because it already had a million degrees.
Comedian: My friend said, you have a BA, a master’s, and a PhD, but you still act like an idiot. It was a third degree burn.
Bob Metz:
From a million degrees to the third degree to a history degree. You know why a history degree is useless? Because there’s no future in it.
After all, why does history keep repeating itself? Because we weren’t listening the first time. And it has been said that between the Stone Age and the Bronze Age, there was the Copper Age. Because back then, people really knew how to conduct themselves.
And while we’re on a historical note, have you ever wondered how the Roman Empire was cut in half? With a pair of Caesars.
A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says, five beers, please. I love that one.
And on the Russian front, apparently on an old episode of Dancing with the Tsars, viewers were saying that Peter and Catherine were great, but Ivan was just terrible.
And of course, no one should have been surprised by the rise of the USSR after World War II. I mean, there were red flags everywhere.
Comedian: I sympathize with batteries. I’m not included in anything either.
If I have twin daughters, I’m gonna name one Kate. And the other duplicate.
Bob Metz:
When the receptionist shouted, Doctor, the invisible man is here for his appointment. The doctor replied, Tell him I’m sorry, but I can’t see him right now.
Comedian: I took a trip to Egypt and I met this guy that said I could buy any monument for $500. Turns out it was a pyramid scheme.
Bob Metz:
I started reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put it down. And you know why Isaac Newton didn’t dodge the apple? Because he didn’t understand the gravity of the situation.
And then there was a guy who just found out that Albert Einstein was a real person. And all this time he thought Einstein was just a theoretical physicist.
And then there’s Swedish astronomer Anders Celsius, who died in 1744 at age of 43. But his rival Fahrenheit was convinced he was 103.
Comedian: I haven’t talked to my wife in seven years. I don’t wanna interrupt her.
Bob Metz:
I wonder if that’s got something to do with where the phrase a seven-year itch came from. You know the other night while I was getting into bed, I’d forgotten which side the sun rises from. But then the next morning it dawned on me.
As the son handed his dad his 50th birthday card, his father looked down at him with tears in his eyes and said, You know, son, one would have been enough.
And then there was the school that proudly installed a long row of coat pegs on the wall with a sign over the last five of them that read, For teachers only. And then the next day somebody added, but it can also be used for coats.
When Joe told Bill that he doesn’t understand cloning, Bill replied, Well, that makes two of us.
Clip (Don’t Tell Comedy, May 16, 2025, Andy Huggins – continued)
Andy Huggins: In about three weeks, I’m going to Europe to do some shows. Very excited about that. The first city will be Amsterdam, which I’m told has a lot of drugs, which I don’t do. And a lot of sex workers.
Bob Metz:
Then there was a sergeant who found a private under his command wandering around, and he asked him, didn’t I tell you to stand at the end of the line? Yes, replied the private, but there was already somebody there.
Had enough yet? Coming up next on this side of the bumper, Mark Dice offered an interesting history of late-night comedy talk shows back on his January 6, 2025 podcast, and a discussion that shifts our comedy spotlight back to the political arena.
And meanwhile, if you’ve ever wondered, how did Barack Obama propose to Michelle? Well, he got down on one knee, showed her a ring, and said, I don’t want to be Obama self.
Clip (Mark Dice, January 6, 2025 – History of late-night comedy and political propaganda)
Mark Dice: After NBC fired Jay Leno as the Tonight Show host and replaced him with Jimmy Fallon in 2014, rumors were rampant in the industry that Leno was forced out because he was going too hard on President Obama. He was number one in the ratings and had been for 20 years. So people wondered why NBC would get rid of him since he was still on top.
Well, Leno was the first late-night comedian to take the gloves off and really start bashing President Obama. For his entire administration, the mainstream corporate comedians treated him with kid gloves, and very few of their jokes really took him to task. But after the hope and change wore off and was replaced by regret and despair for many Americans, Jay Leno started bashing Obama like nobody else in the business.
Jay Leno: The White House has admitted that President Obama’s chief of staff had advanced warning the IRS was targeting conservative groups but never told the President. Well, President Obama says the first time he heard about the IRS scandal and the AP phone record scandal, the first time he heard about it was from the media. See, that’s why President Obama holds press conference. Not to explain what’s going on, to find out what’s going on.
The President didn’t know about Benghazi, didn’t know about the IRS scandal, didn’t know about the APS scandal. You know what this means? They took asked Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell out of the Pentagon and moved it into the White House.
I always love when politicians say things like this. Uh President Obama said today he welcomes a national debate over our surveillance policy. He says it’s a debate we wouldn’t have had five years ago. Five years ago? Debate we wouldn’t have had two weeks ago if they all hadn’t gotten caught. That’s why it would have been the debate.
Exactly. President Obama told a group of school children that broccoli is his favorite food. You know, it’s one thing to lie to the voters. Okay, but you know, when you’re lying to kids, come on. Come on.
Mark Dice: I sure do miss when comedians were funny. Jay Leno was my favorite comedian, not just because he was funny, but you couldn’t tell what his politics were because he made fun of everyone. Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, Obama, it didn’t matter. They were all fair game, but under the Biden administration, all the late-night talk shows treated old Joe with kid gloves until the Emperor had no clothes moments after the debate, when it became clear that Joe Biden wasn’t going to make it to election night.
Right after Leno’s final episode, Johnny Carson’s former head writer, Raymond Miller wrote an op-ed, admitting the obvious, that the other late-night hosts protected Obama, while Leno broke the mold, taking him to task. Sure, the other hosts joked about him, but it was all lighthearted humor and nothing like the way comedians treated previous presidents.
And immediately after Jimmy Fallon replaced Jay Leno as the Tonight Show host, one of the first guests on his show the first week was Michelle Obama, who came on to promote Obamacare.
Unlike Jimmy Fallon, Stephen Colbert, who took over The Late Show from David Letterman in 2015, made Trump bashing a staple of his show to the point where it’s an odd obsession. But he wasn’t so happy after election night back in 2016.
Stephen Colbert: Um, there’s no way around it. This, um, This is what it feels like when America is made great again. I uh I was wondering, and uh I was really hoping it would feel better because this sucks.
Mark Dice: That’s probably the first time Stephen Colbert has ever made me laugh. But he pulled himself together, and President Trump became his number one enemy. Most nights, his entire monologue is about Donald Trump, and it serves more as a nightly anti-Trump editorial than stand-up comedy. And that’s not even a secret at this point. In fact, one of the emails, WikiLeaks released from Hillary’s campaign manager, John Podesta, shows that a Clinton insider was able to get Colbert to do two different segments to promote the Clinton Foundation on his show. And this is what Stephen Colbert’s viewers think actually passes for comedy.
Vaccine!
Of course, Of course, he also regularly spews anti-whitism. Former comedian Jon Stewart and his elitist friends are looking forward to it as well.
Jon Stewart: We are going to be a white minority very, very soon. I’m okay with that. You know, to me, change is opportunity. And this country has evolved via change every year of its existence since 1776. There are always going to be people who don’t want change. But just look at how much has changed among the things that we thought would never change, from pot to you know, gay weddings to you name it, the list is long. You know, it’s just it takes time.
Mark Dice: Jimmy Kimmel also uses his show as part of the anti-Trump entertainment complex, but not with the level of disdain and hatred of Stephen Colbert, but he promotes the liberal agenda literally every single night and is a valuable Democrat asset.
Kimmel has also admitted consulting with Chuck Schumer to get material for his show to use against Republicans, and doesn’t care that becoming a Democrat propagandist has cost him half of his audience.
Jimmy Kimmel: I don’t disagree. I mean, you’re right. I have lost half of my fan. Maybe more than than that. I mean, when I, you know, 10 years ago among like Republicans, I was the most popular talk show host, you know. I mean, you know, this at least according to the research that they did. But I I just I can’t I couldn’t live with myself.
Uh see this, you know. Yeah. Well, you’re doing a public service. You, Colbert, the Seth Myers, these are the guys. You’re the guys who make us feel like we’re not alone.
Mark Dice: Of course he doesn’t care. It’s not about the money or ratings, it’s about the message. And when he first started his show 20 years ago now, Kimmel admitted this.
Have you learned Have you learned anything about being a TV show host?
Jimmy Kimmel: Not really. Well, one thing I will, you know, I was here right before the show started, and I really feel like you um you led me astray by not telling me how much lying I would be doing.
Oh.
For instance, you lie to you lie, you tell the guests you like their movies, you lie, you tell them you like their television shows, you lie, you act like you like them. And it’s I really had no idea that it was that I would become one of the biggest phonies in the world.
Mark Dice: Yes, that’s what happens when you sell your soul to a major media conglomerate. You turn into a ventriloquist dummy, and whatever they want to come out of your mouth magically does.
But after election night 2024, he wasn’t so chummy.
Jimmy Kimmel: Um, It’s more than half of this country voted for the criminal, still trying to figure out what happened. It was a terrible night last night. It was a terrible night for women, for children, for the hundreds of thousands of hardworking immigrants who make this country go. Um for health care, for our climate, for science, for journalism, for our allies in Ukraine, for NATO, for the truth and democracy and decency.
Mark Dice: A comedian crying during his show because the Democrat lost. That’s the state of late-night comedy shows these days. There’s even a guide titled Leveraging Comedy for Social Change that was published by the Center for Media and Social Impact at American University in Washington, DC, which notes comedy’s ability to actually set a media agenda is well documented by research and in practice. The effect of one comedy piece can be magnified, infinitely increasing its ability to reach both target audiences and decision makers who are able to directly impact the issue.
This is why the fake news media is always reporting on what Stephen Colbert or John Oliver say on their shows. And if you still have any doubt that comedy can be a vehicle for political propaganda, in an interview with CNN in 2008, Chevy Chase openly admitted that he used his position on Saturday Night Live back in the 70s for propaganda purposes. One of his famous skits was playing then President Ford at the time, who was facing off against Jimmy Carter in the 1976 election. And Chevy Chase admitted this.
Chevy Chase: And I just made it, I just went after him. And uh I certainly obviously my leanings were democratic, and uh I wanted Carter in, and uh I wanted him out, and I figured, look, we’re reaching millions of people uh every weekend. Why why not do it?
Wait a minute, you mean to tell me that uh in the back of my mind you were thinking, hey, I want Carter this time? and I’m gonna make him look bad.
Oh yeah.
Wow.
What do you think they’re doing now? I mean, you think they were just doing this because Sarah’s funny?
Mark Dice: He’s talking about Saturday Night Live skewering Sarah Palin when she was John McCain’s running mate that year, by the way.
Chevy Chase: No, like I think that they that they show the show is uh very uh much more uh democratic and liberal-oriented, uh, that obviously more for Barack Obama than McCain.
Mark Dice: Obviously, yes. Many people actually credit Tina Fey’s depiction of Sarah Palin on Saturday Night Live with being largely responsible for people seeing her in a negative light because Tina Fey highlighted her quirks and accentuated her faults so much that the caricature ended up overshadowing the real Sarah Palin in many ways and permanently tarnishing her image. Kind of like what happened with Al Gore from Saturday Night Live, who was still a laughing stock.
Al Gore (impression): Rather than squander the surplus on a risky tax cut for the wealthy, I would put it in what I call a lockbox.
Mark Dice: The same thing can be said for what I did to Brian Stelter, one of the things I’m most proud of in my career, turning him into a laughing stock.
Comedian: Hello, welcome to the Liberal Sign Up Center. But before we get started, we just have a few questions.
Okay, amazing. I have dreamed of this moment. I even dyed my hair blue to fit in.
Yes, we noticed, and we love the commitment. The quick thing, is it okay if we give you a septum piercing before we talk?
Please, I’ve been wanting one for so long.
Beautiful. Okay, you see someone wearing a MAGA hat or a freedom shirt. What is your immediate reaction?
Racist, big fascist, white supremacist, probably drinks whole milk.
Outstanding, strong, smart.
Okay, another question. If you had to pick the worst dictator, Trump or Maduro.
I mean, Trump, obviously. Maduro just needs better PR. He’s just misunderstood.
Excellent nuance. We love selective outrage. Okay, next question. What is a woman?
Easy. Anyone who identifies as a woman, duh. Next.
Flawless, no hesitation. Okay, next question. Should parents lose custody if they don’t affirm every single thing their six-year-old says about their identity.
Of course, six-year-olds are basically tiny philosophers.
Correct. Aristotle walked so kindergartners could run.
Bob Metz:
Aristotle walked so kindergartners can run. Those were the last words I expected to hear. Yeah, running right into the arms and philosophies of Plato. I suppose that’s why kids play with Play-Doh.
So, Hegel, Nietzsche, and Aristotle walk into a bar. Why?
Comedian: So the guy who invented zero. Thanks for nothing.
Bob Metz:
Well, you’re welcome. I’m tempted to go on another one of my diatribes about how there is no such thing as nothing. But why? I’d rather zero in on the positive value of our comedic exploration today. To wit, comedy is one of the most powerful influencers in the field of human expression. Primarily because humor, in most cases, but not all, evokes an instantaneous emotional response, as opposed to a slower intellectual or reasoned response. And in politics, this is a valuable strategy, given the principle that, since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak. You could call that principle the physics of politics. When the sound catches up to the light, well, then everything seems to go dark again.
And speaking to the political influence of comedy shows, I was still going to high school during my senior years there when an outrageously new and original comedy show called Rowan and Martin’s Laugh-In appeared on NBC and simply swept the nation’s zeitgeist. As briefly described by Wikipedia, and I quote, Rowan and Martin’s Laugh-In is an American sketch comedy television program that ran for six seasons from January 22nd, 1968 to July 23rd, 1973 on the NBC television network. The show, hosted by comedians Dan Rowan and Dick Martin, originally aired as a one-time special on September 9th, 1967, and was such a success that it was brought back as a series, replacing The Man from U.N.C.L.E. on Mondays at 8 p.m. Eastern time. It quickly became the most popular television show in the United States, end quote.
And boy, is that ever an understatement? I remember clearly that on every Tuesday morning, as all the high school kids got ready for their classes that day, virtually all the talk was about the previous day’s Laugh-In. And in retrospect, though I really wasn’t aware of it at the time, it was surprising how many of the kids were passionately talking politics without really framing it that way.
And Laugh-In was a show that was constantly being targeted by politicians and by networks that restricted the show’s freedom of speech, or at least tried to. And the show was very explicitly political, with one of its most popular features being what Rowan and Martin called the flying fickle finger of fate award. And in the example of that that follows, just get a load of the issue that they’re raising. Remember, this is 50 to 60 years ago or so, give or take.
Laugh-In: Once again, it’s time for the flying fickle finger of fate award.
Right, you are, sir. Tonight’s winner is the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission.
Oh, what did those boys do now?
Hang on, I want to tell you. The commission ruled that classified job ads can no longer be listed under separate male and female headings, because that’s discriminating on the basis of sex.
And if there’s one thing I don’t want to do, it’s discriminate, it’s against sex.
Right, your name is. And so, here’s a flying fickle finger of fate to the members of the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission for deciding there’s absolutely no difference between men and women.
You know I’m so inspired, I decided to be the first on my block to go along with this new ruling.
Good man.
Today, just today, I went out and hired a new houseboy. I’ll be right there, Hortense.
Bob Metz:
So, did that whole thing sound vaguely familiar or what?
Comedian: How can liberals have a gender reveal party when their baby hasn’t decided what gender it is yet? Have you ever noticed how the same people that claim gender isn’t real want a female president? So, the gender pay gap is real, but gender isn’t real.
Bob Metz:
Now you’ve got to admit that given that there are publications and studies such as that guide highlighted by Mark Dice, Leveraging Comedy for Social Change, published by the Center for Media and Social Impact, you have to admit that comedy is about a lot more than just laughter and entertainment. It’s about power and influence.
As was quoted from that guide, comedy’s ability to actually set a media agenda is well documented by research and in practice. The effect of one comedy piece can be magnified infinitely, increasing its ability to reach both target audiences and decision makers who are able to directly impact the issue.
And perhaps the most telling motivation behind the use of comedy was best summarized when Mark Dice declared, “what I did to Brian Stelter was one of my proudest moments in my career, turning him into a laughing stock.” And that’s what real power to the people is all about. Or at least to the people who are the most funny.
Comedian: What’s one thing that liberals can do that conservatives can’t? Invent a new pronoun, hold a protest for the right of cows, turn plastic straws into a moral crisis. They can spend their time getting their own TV show canceled. They can fill their car up with $40 worth of gasoline and then drive to a climate crisis rally. They can blame global warming on a pickup truck. They can apologize for being a part of one of the greatest countries in existence. They can shed legit tears over something somebody wrote on the internet. They could take a Thanksgiving dinner and make it taste like despair. They can let everybody know how much they hate capitalism and they write it on a $1,500 iPhone. They could find racism in a rock formation.
Comedian: But it is weird that liberals are the, you know, they’re the ones being like, America’s the most racist country on earth. Also, open borders come on in. We want you to experience it for yourself. We want you to see what we we’ve built here. And then Republicans are like, we are not racist at all. We are the least racist country on Earth. But do not come here.
Comedian: Growing up in New York, I was always in rooms with liberals who just assumed I agree with them because I’m liberal passing. What I realized sitting in all those rooms is that liberals, they think that things are copacetic. You know, when we’re in an office, you have a friendship with someone who has different political opinions than you do. They think it’s because they’re forgiving us for being evil. But what they don’t realize is we’re forgiving them for being retarded.
Bob Metz:
Just a few examples of political humor and action, which we borrowed from YouTuber Alex Assoune’s May 22nd collection, featuring an array of what he called one hour of comedians roasting liberals.
And since we began this quarter of the show on a mathematical note, even though it was all really about nothing, I thought we could wind down this quarter with comic Bobby Tessel telling his story about his mathematical skills resulted in his picking up a date.
Clip (Bobby Tessel – Gym elliptical joke)
Bobby Tessel: So I’m at the gym and I’m on the elliptical machine. And the woman next to me said, Hey, can I ask you a question? And I said, Yeah, sure, go ahead. She said, how do I convert my pulse rate to my heart rate? Uh well, take your pulse rate and multiply it by one. Then subtract zero. Do you need some scratch paper? We’re going out next week.
Bob Metz:
I’m going to guess that only a fraction of you will find this funny, and that is this. There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator.
And while you’re pondering that mathematical puzzle, while it is true that laughter may be among the best medicines, unfortunately, it is no cure.
Since it’s impossible to quote unquote fix stupid, we’ll just have to keep chipping away at it. As we will when you humor us by joining us again next week as we continue our journey in the right direction. And until then, be right, stay right, do right, act right, think right, and be right back here. We’ll see you then.
Clip (Alex Assoune Collection, May 22, 2025 – Final political humor)
Comedian: I don’t think you choose to be a liberal or a conservative. I think it chooses you. I do. I think you have a series of personality traits that you didn’t choose that just cause you to align right or align left.
I think a society runs that way because there are certain jobs that require somebody who’s more, I don’t know, intuitive and run by their heart and emotional and open to change, you know.
And then there are people who don’t like change. They’re way more mathematical and practical, and they don’t like this fine wishy washy stuff. Do you believe in positive reinforcement? I believe in fucking punishment because there’s a right way and there’s a wrong way. And some people are like, that’s great, but I mean, can’t we just stay open to all possibilities?
Liberals are like, let’s adopt that dog. And conservatives are like, who’s gonna f’ing walk it?